Never Give Up

I will never give up.

Even during the times when I'm feeling useless, downtrodden, and would be better off dead, I will NEVER stop trying. I will never give up.

If my friends think that me getting fired means thats it, they're wrong. I won't rest until this is solved. Even if we've had our arguments and shit, I still consider them all friends, and therefor, something I care for.

I will not stop making music, just because I'm not good at it, and just cuz shows make me sick to my stomach cuz of my anxiety, I will always try to go, play, whatever.

Just because my art is childish looking since I never practice, I will never give it up, and I will get better at it.

And just because I am most likely going to be fired, I will not stop. The whole reason I'm doing this is to help make everything more bearable and so everyone can get the job done.

I will NEVER give up.

Even if everyone gives up on me.

Eyes Slightly Opened

So after reading a great letter/email/article on metalsucks from the vocalist of Trap Them, Ive been inspired to continue writing some music.

Ive been workin non stop a lot lately, and getting bitched at from everyone for very retarded reasons. Oh well, I know Im a good employee and Im always kind even when customers are rude to me cuz I know its right. Get more with honey than vinegar.

So Im pretty excited about a lot of happenings. The local gaming store I frequent is moving over and remodelling, Im happy to help since the owner and his family, quite good friends of mine, are very kind and have always helped me out with stuff. Im finally cleaning the living room. Which is VERY big news since its a fucking trainwreck hahaha. Im happy to be hanging with mature people finally, feeling more adult, despite my dad being half a century old and acting like a little fucking kid.

In addition, I must say, I am a bit worried. As much good as this is all going, a lot of new things are happening that are kinda scary. My best friend Matt is getting married Sept. 25th, then going to the Navy. His brother, my other best friend, Chris, well, he needs work, and I dont think its right that fucking faggots I know have jobs when they act like theyre better than everyone, yet he gives 200% at whatever he does and he doesnt get shit. At the same time, I wanna continue having a great summer and all, but I have to think about getting a new job, just in case Im fired, or a 2nd job so I can afford a new car. Im not lookin for a 2010 model, something not 16 years old like mine.

As much as I know my friends are there for me, my family, and that I live a very social, fun, and, to my dismay, easy life compared to my friends, I've never felt more alone, outcasted, and far from normality than in high school.

I guess I need to worry about the future, since its always uncertain, and as much as I wanna have a career that I like, and wont dread waking up every morning for, I need to find my niche in life. I dont think mine is a good one either. Or at least one I can live independently for.

Well, time to write. I have plenty of ideas brewing, maybe i should just write shit down or type it up and see what I come out with instead of trying to force my creative "muse" to work for me.

See ya round.

Mac Gaming. Finally.

You can tell how fucking insanely pumped I am by the fact Im running on 2 hours of sleep.

Also, finally getting some music done.

The_Network is playing with my friends in HiveSmasher and Drive-By Bukkake, as well as Gloomius Doom and The Binary Code. Go to it, its free and in lowell.

Once I see if my best friend Chris is like, way better at guitar after some practice, Ill see about recording some free demos. Ill post em here and all. Time to get some drums done.

Iceclops

So my buddy Chris, aka Iceclops has a free mixtape for download. For those of ya who dont know his shit, its just clever, real hip hop from a regular guy.
At the moment hes been doing collabs and promoting his mixtape, No Surprises, which has been doing REALLY good.

Also, he may be doing a collab with THE KOTTONMOUTH KINGS!!!!!!

And yes, it says DJ Edo. Thats a joke, I actually didnt do anything haha

If you'd like to give it a listen or download it, check it out here.
http://www.datpiff.com/DJ_Edo_Iceclops_No_Surprises.m107139.html

Its worth it.
Thanks.

My Music Myspace

So if you've visited my myspace (music page) you'll notice an abundance of advertisements, instrumentals made in flstudio with shitty guitar, and not a lot of activity.
http://myspace.com/xwidowmakerxnoise

The music is all demos. Theyre being remade (programming drums takes time) and then rerecorded, and having actual vocals.

Hopefully Ill be doing a lot more this summer now that I have job and some time.

Im remaking the drums using drumkit from hell and soon ezdrummer superior through Renoise 2.3, the same that Agoraphibic Nosebleed has been using for years. Im going to have my buddy Taylor do guitar, since I SUCK at it, and Ill be adding a lot of vocal effects, background noise, dissonance, and subliminal messages.

Also, I dont play shows much because no one will pay to see me, and no one will buy tickets to see me. I dont mind opening shows, or playing for free haha

Also, once I get caught up on all the footage I have yet to edit and all the schoolwork I missed while I was sick, Ill be recording vocals to those demos myself, and releasing them for free download.

Ok, so thats that.
Here's something good.
I filmed them 2 days in a row. Vids up soon.