Sometimes I forget

That Im not living a life of "normality", that the fair maiden wont be mine eventually, that I wont be saving anyone, and I will be the one who is defeated.

I sometimes wish I wasnt myself. Sometimes that I could forget everyone and everything, start fresh, not have any bad memories of heartbreak, betrayal, not be so paranoid, remeet everyone and hopefully NOT fuck it up.

I mean, Im glad I have a lot more time to myself, and that Im on a creative roll, Im somewhat happier around people. But Im also sad that I cant hang with my friends sometimes, that they dont like me, and just put up with me like soooooooooooo many before. I cant help it with my paranoid self, but thats how I feel. I may be happy, but once Im alone I miss everyone, I long for the companionship I never had, and I certainly with some aspects of my romantic life were...uh, better?

All Im trying to do is be the great friend, the one who you can wake up at 4am and talk to so you feel better, who can try and give advice and help your problems, and who will take the time to listen and care, and not judge you.

Meh, not like that ever happens.