Eyes Slightly Opened

So after reading a great letter/email/article on metalsucks from the vocalist of Trap Them, Ive been inspired to continue writing some music.

Ive been workin non stop a lot lately, and getting bitched at from everyone for very retarded reasons. Oh well, I know Im a good employee and Im always kind even when customers are rude to me cuz I know its right. Get more with honey than vinegar.

So Im pretty excited about a lot of happenings. The local gaming store I frequent is moving over and remodelling, Im happy to help since the owner and his family, quite good friends of mine, are very kind and have always helped me out with stuff. Im finally cleaning the living room. Which is VERY big news since its a fucking trainwreck hahaha. Im happy to be hanging with mature people finally, feeling more adult, despite my dad being half a century old and acting like a little fucking kid.

In addition, I must say, I am a bit worried. As much good as this is all going, a lot of new things are happening that are kinda scary. My best friend Matt is getting married Sept. 25th, then going to the Navy. His brother, my other best friend, Chris, well, he needs work, and I dont think its right that fucking faggots I know have jobs when they act like theyre better than everyone, yet he gives 200% at whatever he does and he doesnt get shit. At the same time, I wanna continue having a great summer and all, but I have to think about getting a new job, just in case Im fired, or a 2nd job so I can afford a new car. Im not lookin for a 2010 model, something not 16 years old like mine.

As much as I know my friends are there for me, my family, and that I live a very social, fun, and, to my dismay, easy life compared to my friends, I've never felt more alone, outcasted, and far from normality than in high school.

I guess I need to worry about the future, since its always uncertain, and as much as I wanna have a career that I like, and wont dread waking up every morning for, I need to find my niche in life. I dont think mine is a good one either. Or at least one I can live independently for.

Well, time to write. I have plenty of ideas brewing, maybe i should just write shit down or type it up and see what I come out with instead of trying to force my creative "muse" to work for me.

See ya round.