Long Rant Is Looooooooong

So this morning, its very early for me, around 9am. Ive been up since 7am since the rednecks behind us decided to go in the pool and scream and argue. At 7am. Right off the bat I hope all the fat fucks drown.

Cut to work. The 0 key on my register sticks sometimes, so this time it stuck and rang up as $200.03 instead of $20.03. I asked if we needed to key it in, forgetting he gave me 3 cents to give him a 5, so i hand him $4.97. He goes "What the fuck are you doing? I gave you 3 cents!" I wasnt thinking, it being early in the morning. I said "Oh Im sorry." and gave him his 5. He begins walking out, and goes, "Jesus, where the fuck did you go, vocational school?" not registering what he said, I replied, "No, community college." The guy behind him, who was very nice, laughed at the old guy. As soon as the nice man left, it registered what had just happened, and I wanted to murder the everloving fuck out of that old piece of shit. Had I actually caught what he said, I would have replied, and gotten fired for, saying "are those dentures or real teeth, cuz youre about to fucking eat them in 3 seconds"

Needless to say, I raged all day at work, being extra nice to customers, since thats my fucking job.

I know theres fucking assholes in the world. Im one of em. But when Im an all around nice guy, and am being courteous, making human errors, and apologizing and doing my best to rectify the situation, I dont need the fucking attitude. If the boss who's not usually a bitch to me wasnt standing 2 aisles over, having ironically, not heard any of this, I would definately have said something, gotten in trouble, etc. But this isnt the first time shit has gotten to me at work so bad.

Before, we were having a huge 4 day sale. A man came over and asked why the prices of his items were not like in the magazine. I told him politely that the size of the bag and the flavor of the cat food wasnt the one on sale, and if he'd like, he can go grab those. He balled up a fist and proceeded to complain about the price. I cant do much, since Im stuck as a part time cashier, I cant change prices, I can just call a manager, ironically, shed be a bitch and Id get shit from the customer for it. So as a long line forms behind him and Im the only cashier (as usual) on duty, he says "Ill just go grab another one then" He puts the bag down and I begin ringing in a new customer. When the line is finished, I notice that the bag he left behind me on the floor was gone. He stole a $50 bag of animal food because he couldnt get the fucking sale, since his chosen bag wasnt one on sale.

It bothered me all day and all weekend. I was so pissed that I let someone get away, yet, thinking this through, if I hadf tried to stop him, since he was about 6 foot 3, and had prolly 100 or so pounds on me, would've fucked me up.

I shouldnt have to go into work worrying if a customer is gonna take a swing at me or if theyre gonna come back and harass me as I try and do my job. I shouldnt have to fucking worry about my bosses blaming me for everything when Im the ONLY person at the front most of the time, and getting bitched at cuz they take thier fucking time getting to the front to help me out with things because theyre too fucking busy chatting in the office. Me and my coworkers do hard work. I cant speak for them, but I always give as much effort and kindness, even if Im in a shit mood and faking it, Im always courteous, and always, ALWAYS try and do the best job I can do, yet I get bitched at because I made a human error, such as accidentally giving 3 cents less change or being the only person on a register with a line halfway down the fucking store. People from petcare and GROOMING of all places shouldnt have to drop what theyre doing to relieve this line because my bosses are all having coffee and donuts out back. When I call twice, its kinda important. When the first and LAST people in line hear my voice on the intercom 7 times and still have nothing, then its fucking pathetic.

If I could get any job that pays good and lets me go to shows and be myself like this one, Id fucking be there. But I cant, so Im stuck in a thankless rut, as the bottom fucking rung, and my only saving grace is I get to see all the other animals people have and I cant have.

Life isnt fucking fair, but everyone gets a break once in a while. Where the fuck is mine?

Eyes Slightly Opened

So after reading a great letter/email/article on metalsucks from the vocalist of Trap Them, Ive been inspired to continue writing some music.

Ive been workin non stop a lot lately, and getting bitched at from everyone for very retarded reasons. Oh well, I know Im a good employee and Im always kind even when customers are rude to me cuz I know its right. Get more with honey than vinegar.

So Im pretty excited about a lot of happenings. The local gaming store I frequent is moving over and remodelling, Im happy to help since the owner and his family, quite good friends of mine, are very kind and have always helped me out with stuff. Im finally cleaning the living room. Which is VERY big news since its a fucking trainwreck hahaha. Im happy to be hanging with mature people finally, feeling more adult, despite my dad being half a century old and acting like a little fucking kid.

In addition, I must say, I am a bit worried. As much good as this is all going, a lot of new things are happening that are kinda scary. My best friend Matt is getting married Sept. 25th, then going to the Navy. His brother, my other best friend, Chris, well, he needs work, and I dont think its right that fucking faggots I know have jobs when they act like theyre better than everyone, yet he gives 200% at whatever he does and he doesnt get shit. At the same time, I wanna continue having a great summer and all, but I have to think about getting a new job, just in case Im fired, or a 2nd job so I can afford a new car. Im not lookin for a 2010 model, something not 16 years old like mine.

As much as I know my friends are there for me, my family, and that I live a very social, fun, and, to my dismay, easy life compared to my friends, I've never felt more alone, outcasted, and far from normality than in high school.

I guess I need to worry about the future, since its always uncertain, and as much as I wanna have a career that I like, and wont dread waking up every morning for, I need to find my niche in life. I dont think mine is a good one either. Or at least one I can live independently for.

Well, time to write. I have plenty of ideas brewing, maybe i should just write shit down or type it up and see what I come out with instead of trying to force my creative "muse" to work for me.

See ya round.

RIP

Edge

1/29/09-7/6/10

It was fun. Maybe some day it'll be my calling, but right now, life is too short to not have fun, not live life, not appreciate things.

I may drink now, but Im never gonna be a drunk, and I still refuse to pick up smoking again, and will still stay drug free.

And no matter what, I may have left my edge behind, but I will always love and respect the sxe culture. Its given me new outlooks on life and the world, and Ive made some great fucking friends who have common interests.

With that being said, Ill bitch and complain about my life later.